Life happens, you grow and change. You mature and stabilize and then you realize... You're a glutton for punishment and that's a hard habit to kick. I'm in the library... where are all the books??? i dunno what's on my mind... Maybe i should watch the news so they can tell me what i should care about. "you know (I'm) a cute li'l heartbreaker... FOXY ... You know (I'm) a sweet li'l Lovemaker... FOXY.. Foxy Lady" JAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! "It's been so long since I had sex, I forgot who ties up whom." -Joan Rivers" I consider sex a misdemeanor. Da more I miss, da meaner I get." -Mae West This weekend I get to beta test the psycho-mom personality on the potential boyfriend. I've been living my entire life for this moment. Muahahaha YO!!! my Son just got a "we've got our eye on you" letter from Columbia Univ... lol He's feeling quite nice right now.. I Love my daddy!! That being said.. I'm sitting at my desk determined to put this story to bed. No kids, no Coke.. Just me, a bottle of water, a battered wife and a man trying to get it right.. time to write. OMG this is gold. maybe it's the bad breath that kills the germs... either way, worth a try, no?
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← Jiva Thoughts

THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME : APPRECIATION: “Go…

THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME :
APPRECIATION: “Go kill each other outside.. I just finished cleaning.”
RELIGION: “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
TIME TRAVEL: “If you don’t stop it, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
LOGIC: “Because I said so, that’s why.”
FORESIGHT: “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.” IRONY: “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
OSMOSIS: “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
CONTORTIONISM: “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
STAMINA: “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
WEATHER: “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
HYPOCRISY: ” I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
CIRCLE OF LIFE: “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..”
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: “Stop acting like your father!”
ENVY: “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
ANTICIPATION: “Just wait until we get home.”
RECEIVING: “You are going to get it when you get home!”
MEDICAL SCIENCE: “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”
ESP: “Put your sweater on, don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
HUMOUR: “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.” BECOMING AN ADULT: “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.” GENETICS: “You’re just like your father.”
MY ROOTS: “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?” WISDOM: “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
JUSTICE: “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !”
CHOICE: “Do you want me to stop this car?”
stolen from Theresa